home, christmas, and kesler

2018 is ending and this year has certainly proven to be more challenging than I ever imagined. I lost my brother, gained a sister. Lost an uncle, gained a cousin. It's the circle of life I suppose.

1 Finding our way back home.

2 This was the best Christmas we have had in years. We somehow managed to navigate out of our Christmas pit of doom and we had a blast. Christmas tree cutting with Chris and his family, bough collecting for decorations with Mr P, decorating with the grandkidlets. and Christmas day we were all together for present opening. Later Nick and his international students and mom shared a roast beast dinner and we played games. Whatever we did, we must duplicate it!

3 Kesler is struggling with everything. So we have him over (Grampa's idea!) for an afternoon with us. He got to go on a walking adventure with Grampa in the snow, play with new legos while munching on KD and hot tub to round off his time with us. I think he felt pretty special.

plant smiles, grow laughter, harvest love~

1 We are feeling very welcome, and very loved. Coming to work on the rental can  quite often seem a bit like work, work and more work. But this time especially, we have been quite social. Shared meals, laughs, hugs and lots of encouragement to get the job done. Big love to you all. You know who you are.

2 The flowers are finished but the leaves and stems lay limp on the grass, wet from snow and rain. I pull out my gardening gloves, the rubber kind and head out to make a dent in it all. As I am pulling out the old leaves I find snippets of new growth hiding underneath years of leaves and decomposing matter.

3 Christmas is coming and at the rental it's time to get some bling happening. I find a two dollar silver wreath and add some mini lights to it, hang it in the window and voila! Oh Dollar Store you're some kind of fun on a budget!

grateful for you, progressing, and a bit of both

1 The days have flown past yet again. I often think, write in your blog, then I get sidetracked and move on to something else. But here I am, finally, at the keyboard, talking to you.

2 We have been making slow but steady progress on the rental. A few bigger projects are completed, like the vinyl flooring, and Mr P did an awesome job of fixing the roof and creating a loft space. It's mostly insulated and is ready for the sheeting to go up. He probably will go on his own next week and blast through some of the other bigger projects on his own. Time to work and get this place rented.

3 Sitting in the hot tub each night, sometimes we talk, other times we are just silent, sitting in the warmth, searching the stars or clouds, letting our stress and worries melt away.

adventures with mr p, sleepover, and sweet girl

1 We have had a lot of stuff on the go lately. Seems like there is never time to just be still. So we make time and head to the forest. We check out a camp for kids run by rotary at Silver Lake which is just a few minutes from our home. Then onto logging roads to explore some uncharted roads and find a washed out bridge. Finally, we climb to the top of a mountain and watch a sunset together. It was a good day.

2 The grandkidlets finally come for a sleepover. It's a bit of the usual, hot tub, dinner and a movie. But tonight we have a long story time which Miss Isabelle loves. Soon enough though, I hear their breathing changing and know we have successfully put the darlings to sleep.

3 In the morning I wake feeling unwell but Grampa and Izzy let me sleep in a bit and then bring me coffee and breakfast in bed.  She tells me she cooked it all by herself. Grampa winks and I know he was her "helper"! I'm feeling well loved.

home alone, hydrangea, just the two of us

1 I'm on my own for a few days while Mr P attends a union meeting and course.  So here's how it went... I was quite busy at first, then a bit lazy because I binge watched HGTV and stayed up too late! It really was perfect.

2 The garden, little as they are have produced a few lovely flowers this year.

3 We have a chance to enjoy dinner together without any interruptions at all. 

rains, reno, and typical Monday

1 And the rains have come. The ground has been dry and parched for so long that you can see the plants soaking up the rich goodness from Mother Earth, leaves stretching upward, greening up almost instantly, and blooms opening wide with happy smiles.

2 And the rental renovation list is as follows; for me I get to work on the spreadsheets, finish painting, clean the basement and for Mr P, electrical, flooring and the loft.

2a Best part of this trip is we are staying Friday night with our dearest friends,  so a quick meal and visit before we zip off Saturday for the weekend.

3 We take the time to just be together. After a week of opposite shifts it's exactly what's needed. Tea  and talking, dinner and a hot tub.  The perfect ending to a very typical Monday.

september, booked it, some of what we did

1 September arrives and just like that the weather has changed to crisp mornings and  sweaters, pumpkin spice lattes, and boots.

2 Sometimes you just gotta hit the road and get your party on!

3 Laughter, crying, discussions, music, pictures, huggin' and a kissin', eating way too much, taking turns driving, naps and burger joints, oh and wine. Yup, it was good.

changed, biding my time, & mysterious planting

1. And when the storm is over, you won't remember how to made it through, or how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure in fact whether the storm is really over. But one thing is for certain. When you come out of the storm, YOU won't be the same person.

2. The smokey skies are back. Well, they hadn't ever really left, just gotten a bit thinner. Looking out up the mountain behind us and there's a peek of blue sky, but down the lake it's thick and reminds me of a winter white out. I'm grateful that it will be over soon.

3. I had a chance to get out in my garden yesterday. It's very small but it's my little bit of nature to nurture. I pull weeds, grass, trims roses, and trees and wonder how my mom's favourite flower, feverfew has made it's way into my flowers. Perhaps she's just saying hello in that magical way we could never understand.

my world, my life, my nite

1. The grandkidlets went home this morning after spending 3 beautiful, wonderful, loving, days with us. They fill my world and when they leave I'm already thinking ahead to our next sleepover.

2. There was pure chaos in our neighborhood today complete with police, swat team, helicopter, & dogs. I came home at the wrong time and ended up inside our house on lockdown. Yet, I am so very grateful for my life. I think the saying goes, "But by the grace of God go I".

3. It's a quiet and peaceful evening.

sideways, moonrise, a plan

1 Sometimes things just seem to go in directions we don't expect but in the end things turns out even better than we could ever have imagined.

2. Moonrise. I really want to learn more about night photography. Here was my attempt last night. The little dots are spot fires that have flared up in the heat and wind. Amazing how many were reignited in just a bit of wind.

3 I'm creating a new design for our back yard. Where do we put the gravel walks and flower beds, and researching water features. Wouldn't it be nice to have the sound of water instead of traffic or neighbours?

fire on the mountains

Our summer is once again hot and dry, filled with lightning storms, little rain, water bombers, & smoke. These are photos from across and lake and #4 is the fire farther south down the lake but on our side.

1 The first strike.

2 They let it burn.

3 It's moved over the ridge and headed south. Praying it is out soon.

4

5 Our mountain is ashes and burned out.

Finn

Our new baby grandson Finn

life, the littles, & healing

1 Sometimes I still sit & marvel at the beauty that surrounds me.  My family, husband, the home we share and the lives I am a part of. I am so thankful for this life.

2 The grandkidlets have been with us on and off for a  few weeks now. Pick ups after school and time at our house, sleep over on the weekend & more after school fun. Mommy is on bed rest waiting for the newest little to arrive. ETA July 9.

3 We have been spending a lot of time working on my brother's house to get it ready for rental. Each time we go it is a time of reflection in doing the work. I cry, grieve, live the moments, share my  memories & heal.

creating something new from sadness, shining star, & birdland

It has been a long and rather dark few months since my brother passed and along with other personal issues, I haven't written in this blog. Mostly because even though I wanted to, whining just wasn't what I wanted to do. But I am still standing and the fog is lifting, light is shining through. I am so grateful for this blog. Grateful that I can sit at my laptop and write again, and you'll still be here.

1 We have been spending our time working on my brother's house, cleaning, painting and turning it into a lovely, we hope, rental. The days are short and we put in long hours. But surprisingly or perhaps not, it's been a way to work through the sadness and grief and find a way to see the light.

2 Our grandson Kesler, is non-verbal autistic. He's been working with an amazing BI worker who he just adores and it's paying off. (along with all the mommy/daddy work of course). Monday he was recognized at school as the "Shining Star "for compassion and for his stuffies. We couldn't be happier or prouder for all he's accomplished and all that is coming. #asdkid #nonverval #labelsdontmatter

3 The hummingbirds are busy tonight. The air is cool and breezy and they frantically are filling their bellies so they can make it through the night. I hope their nests are cozy and protected. A storm is coming.

surprise, planting time, & leftovers

1 It's the Easter long weekend and we are having a quiet time of it so far. The littles are back on Sunday night so Monday we will do the egg hunt, some decorating, and a family dinner. Here's the surprise that I did for them at their house. Eggs are plastic and not filled with candy given the rainy weather!

2 Time to get a few spring plants. I'm thinking some purple pansies, my fave, but everything else is just a bit too early. Perhaps I'll start some plants myself? hmm It's been a long time since I've done that for sure.

3 The new Instant Pot is exactly what we thought it might be. 7 in 1 and cooks super fast! A cut up chicken was 16 minutes to tender, juicy, and delicious. Tonight I'll use the rest of the chicken and make some Chicken Tacos. Creativity at its finest? I'll let you know

road trip again, hearts, dear friends, road conditions & NIck

1 We took a trip to the Kootenays and worked on the house. The plan was to clean and paint but the reality of what we actually needed to do was not quite in sync with my expectations. Cleaning continues. Painting to come. The house really has morphed from our efforts so far. 

2 My sister and I share a beautiful heart to heart. I'm so proud of her for being open to sharing and for being real. It's never easy starting over.

3 Our dear friends host us again while we are working on this project. They comfort and support us, fill our bellies with delicious foods and coffees and we even find chocolate bunnies and a beautiful mug as gifts on our bed. 

4 The road conditions for the drive over to the house was a winter weather combo, snow, hail, fog, rain, bits of sun. But the drive back was sunny and blue skies all the way. Funny what a difference a day makes. 


5 Nick sends me a text that says, "Dinner tomorrow? Your kitchen, my ingredients." Of course I said yes! He brings ingredients and wok and teaches me how to make Pad Thai! Oh sweet love. Delicious, and a great visit. I'm so happy he's home in Canada, close by and eager for family time. 

birds, sunny days, & instant pot

1 I clean and put together a beautifully weathered wind chime of hummingbirds that had been at my brothers' house. It is in our front entrance now an is a gentle reminder of him. 

2  We have had more than our share of overcast skies, rain and gloom this winter. But hey it's spring and we are all ready for sunshine and beaches. Okay so we got some sun, beaches too but not in a bathing suit or shorts just yet.

3 Nick invites us over for dinner and to check out the Instant Pot. It's amazing. Simple settings, easy to use and tender beef in 15 minutes. 

warmth, thought, & funny lady

1 The sun streams through the window and warms every inch of Zoe. She luxuriates in the warmth and soon is asleep in the middle of the floor.

2 My dear friend is home. She's been away visiting her mom and yet took the time to say hello and catch up a bit. So thoughtful. I really am blessed to have such a good friend looking out for me. 

3 My coworker is hilarious! She is master of jokes, voices and stories. I often wonder what life must be like at her home with her two littles. 

A&W, watch it, & insight

1  The kids pop by on my dinner break with a bag of goodies. Blt chicken lettuce wraps and a root beer! Seriously good tonight. I really appreciate that they could stop in and I could get some kisses from Izzy and a quick hi from Kesler as a bonus.

2 This morning was filled with phone calls and texts for all sorts of family and  friends. It feels good to be relied on but I had to remember to save time for me. 

3 I had someone say to me that I am often very accurate in my judgments and assumptions and that I would need to challenge these to move forward. I am thankful for the insight.

surprise, hopeful, & see the stars

1 The kidlets get a fun surprise on Monday when I pick them up from school unexpectedly. Kesler sees me, makes eye contact and says "Hi!" then he runs right to me and grabs my hand. My heart just loves that he's making a connection. Miss Izzy sees me and says, "I thought I saw Grampa! I know I saw his car. But it's okay that it's you. I love you so much Grama." Sigh, life is better with the littles in it.

2 The sun finally comes out and warms the earth. The birds are coming to the feeder and Zoe takes up her spot on the deck eyeing them, making little bird sounds, hopeful that one day she might escape and go hunting.

3 The hot tub is smokin' hot and we indulge in a soak. The clouds are gone and the sky is clear. Time for star gazing and relaxation. Oh, and of course a glass of wine, or two.

Silent Sunday

sometimes, lucky, for me, & fixed

1 Sometimes we just don't know what is next for us. Sometimes we struggle, fall down, rise up and fall again, making little, small steps towards whatever we are searching for & sometimes we make giant strides. Sometimes we go too fast. And sometimes it's time to slow down. Time to listen to your inner self and begin to know yourself. Sometimes it's about you.

2 Spring really is coming, isn't it? A co-worker came in to tell me that her tulips are showing above the ground, and I gotta say, I felt jealous. I didn't plant any bulbs this year but the soil Mr P brought in to our yard last fall was full of winter bulbs. Will I be so lucky and have spring tulips pop up in the back yard?

2a I think I should by a pot of paper whites or tulips just for me.

3 When you listen to your friend at work who suggests that you widen the nose pieces on your glasses because you have a huge sore spot and you have a "Duh, why didn't I think of that?" moment. I am grateful. Thanks Sam. 

littles, sunshine, and walking challenge

1 The day begins with a visit with the littles. their mom has an appointment so I pick them up, deliver her and we spend the morning at our house. Izzy's not feeling well so she starts her time here with a short nap while I make gluten free pancakes and hot chocolate for them. Kesler is busy with Lego as always and playing with the headlamp in their bedroom.

2 The sunshine is finally here. No more gray skies, at least for the moment. The wind is still crisp and cold so it's important to stay bundled up.

3 I'm doing a walking challenge for the next few weeks. 2km outside walk each day for 21 days. It has been so cold that I've done a bit of walking outside but them hop on my treadmill or go to the gym with Nick for a bit of bike riding. Either way, I am getting it done!

traveling, b&b, woodpecker, and swans

1 We find our way to the Kootenays once more. This time we are cleaning, donating, taking photos and making lists of the needs, wants and extras that may or may not happen.

2 Our B&B is delightful. Warm, cozy and just what we need in between all the work we are doing. Our hosts are Todd and Gordon. They spoil us both days with amazing breakfasts. Omelets and pancakes.

2a This woodpecker was busy on a tree right outside our living room window but as soon as I moved the blinds for a photo he zipped away. He found a secluded perch to survey his kingdom.

3 The swans aren't totally white and that comes as a surprise to me.

sunny days, celebration, & book reader

1 Sunshine for two days. I could get used to this.

2 Sunday at it's best...family dinner at one of our favourite sushi places, Tokyo One.  You order from an ipad and if you do an "all you can eat" it's even better!!  Tonight, we celebrate Chris's 32 birthday and they will have a gender reveal. The Brown's are having a new baby in July. Boy or girl, what's your guess? I did see a sneak peak and baby was smiling!

3 I dive into my book for book club surfacing now and then for a tea or fresh air. I am reading "The Pearl that Broke it's Shell" by Nadia Hashimi. If you're interested in learning more, https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18505784-the-pearl-that-broke-its-shell

back to school, offers, & doing what is needed

1 The littles have been sick with flu for a couple of weeks now. I'm sure they're both itching to get back to school and seeing their friends. So they are finally well enough to go back to class and I'm betting it'll be a "busy" day. 

2 He's waiting for the official offer. It must be difficult to be in limbo for so long. I wonder what the offer will be but even more so I'm so curious what he's going to choose.

3 We clean out parts of his house and looked through his things. It felt so sad, and I just wanted to forget about it and not do anything. But after a conversation with my sister, it seemed much easier. Day two we cleaned, fixed and sorted. He'd given away so much and had so little. My heart hurt thinking of things he'd done without but was not able to ask for and that I didn't know about. 

service, thoughts, and snow day

Somewhere in my dreams tonight
I'll see you standing there
You look at me with a smile
"Life isn't always fair"

You say you were chosen for his garden
His preciously hand picked bouquet
"God really needed me,
That's why I couldn't stay"

It's said to be that angels
Are sent from above
I've always had my angel
My brother - whose heart was filled with love

Wherever the ocean meets the sky
There will be memories of you and I
When I look up at that sky so blue
All I see are visions of you

"While there's a heart in me, you'll be a part of me."

 1 The service was quiet, respectful, and something Danny would have loved. My family and friends were there and we supported each other. It was overwhelming at times, and I could see how his death affected so many people in a positive way. I hope we can take Dan's positive attitude and make it our legacy too.
1a I am sad my sister didn't come but am glad she's alive and recovering.

2 I'm lost in my thoughts again. Thinking about the past, what might have been, and hopeful for the future. We did a personal development course on the weekend which created this introspection. It's good to look inside and see the things we bring to the table. See the things that shape our decisions, and adjust as needed. Remind me to tell you the story of the beans.

3 The snow comes again. The flakes are huge and stick to the ground once they've landed.  I like the look and smell of fresh snow but like most people I think I'm ready for spring to arrive. Sigh, it's only January.

Danny

When I think of what a brother should be I just think about mine.

He was a gentle, sweet guy and tender hearted.

I couldn't have asked for a better brother.

Dan is four years younger than me but it always felt closer.

He was so sweet when he was little it was hard to ever be angry with him.

Danny has that special smile that went right into his eyes. His hugs were just right.

I saw him before Christmas and it was one of the best visits we had had in ages. We laughed and hugged and hugged some more. We said I love you.
Always in my heart 

May the music of the angels
Be the sweet sounds that you hear.
As you're rocked in Heaven's cradle
May you never shed another tear.

I'll wear your memory proudly,
My only brother...my true friend.
May my love for you reach Heaven above
Until we meet again.

it comes in 3s, brother, and Emma

1 January came in with a vengeance in our family. But we are still standing and moving forward.
My sister was hospitalized and is in a very slow recovery, my brother unexpectedly passed away, and daughter in law's grandfather also passed.

2 My brother was a great guy. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia at a young age and that presented him and us with a few challenges. He lived a good life, independent and with some very good friends. He was so big hearted and giving. It's hard to imagine life without him. Gosh, he really like blonde jokes.

3 Emma has been with us for a week now. She's very sweet and has told me lots of things about her life in China, her search for a new private school in the US and her travels abroad. It's been a pleasure having her with us while Nick was away in Dubai.